Never good enough.

I need to vent.

My great aunt emailed me the other day asking for newer pictures of Presley. I didn't mind sending her pictures because I always loved my great aunt. She also asked about the election and how everyone in Guam feels. I explained to her that the locals cannot vote so it doesn't really matter. She went on and on telling me why I should be for McCain... especially since I'm military. That alone made me feel bad. I'm a 23 year old wife and mother. My husband is military and plans on retiring from the Navy. So, I do care about the future of our military which means I do know pretty much everything about the candidates. I brushed it off and emailed her pictures of Emma & Presley. I got her email today and there was maybe 3 or 4 sentences about how pretty Emma & Presley are. Then she went on to tell me how I need to go to school and get a job. Because being a full time mom is important but that I also need to think about Presley's future. (I don't think she understands how good we are doing and that Presley will always be taken care of) She went on to list jobs that she thinks I would be good at. I even told her that when Presley's in school that I MIGHT consider being a dental assistant because they don't work all the time. That's what I WANT to do... it isn't something that I am settling for. My daughter comes before everything. Plus, Jamie makes enough money to support us without help from me. Granted, extra cash would always be nice but I want to be there for my daughter. I don't want to stick her in childcare where god knows what can happen. We aren't ever to live close enough to family where they could possibly watch her why I work. Work isn't that important to me. It makes me upset. They can't ever be happy for us. My great uncle (her brother) did the same thing when I sent him a birth announcement and a letter. He sent me back a TYPED letter saying that we (yes, WE) needed to go to school and do something with our lives. Um, Jamie's military and again, he plans on RETIRING from the military! That is doing something with his life. Not to mention that he's going to college while he's in the Navy so that he can get a better job after we are out of the Navy.

Jamie always feels like they think he isn't good enough for me but that's not it. We aren't good enough... period. Nothing that my family does will ever be good enough for them. I talked to my aunt Rachel about it. She said that they have always been that way. She told me that when she as engaged (to her husband of like 15 or 16 years) that my great aunt told her that she didn't have to marry for love. That she needed to marry someone else that has more money, love isn't important because eventually you will learn to love that person. Oh my gosh. I could not live that way! Plus, Jamie isn't a bum! He is SUCH a hard worker. No matter what happens he will always take care of us. I am not worried. I just wish they understood how they make all of us feel. They all claim they don't judge anyone especially family but that isn't true.

I love my life and I wouldn't change anything about it. (Well, maybe to be stateside again. I'm looking forward to moving to Illinois, Washington state or Connecticut after Guam. Yes, we DO want to have severe winter after living in hot hot Guam for three years... Haha.Plus, I want to live closer to my brothers.)