I can almost taste the freedom.

We "basically" have a year left in Guam. Oh goodness, it feels wonderful. We haven't officially gotten our orders to Washington but Jamie was told that they need him to feel a spot in August 2010. I guess that is "basically" a guarantee. Jamie's old detailer still has not released him to this new guy. The new guy is old & little peeved but is still processing Jamie as if he was his own. Awesome. There are still a few more steps before we get the okay & one of those really amuses me. There is the phone interview & then a polygraph test! WOO! I wish I could take a picture of Jamie going through a lie detector test. So very awesome. Haha.

We have been talking about Washington a lot lately. We want to buy a house (after we're there for a few years) & make it our forever home. If Jamie is forced to leave Washington, we've decided that he can just be a GB. I don't want to move Presley around too much. Plus, I want to go to school & work part time. Not to mention, Jamie has convinced my brother, Sabin, to move to Washington when we do. Jamie is going to get him a civilian job on base. Sabin has awesome work experience now. I need my brothers to be near. I have never seen my niece & it would be good for them to get a fresh start somewhere new.

Jamie's cousin is leaving for boot camp on the 10th of July... to be a SUBMARINER! Heck yes! He's actually going to be doing the same exact thing that Jamie does. Awesome. He's going to try to get stationed in Washington after boot camp & all of his schools in CT. I'm so excited.

On a side note, we finally found out what is wrong with my mother-in-law. What bothers me is that she didn't directly tell Jamie, we found out through his aunt. She has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Apparently, she is in Stage 4 of the disease. Which is supposed to be the final stage. It makes me feel bad but not for me. For Jamie & his brother/sister. I don't know if she has even told them how sick she really is. Jamie said that if she really is that sick, she is just trying to live her last days like she would anyway. I guess that kind of bothers me. I would want to do everything that I could never do. Live life to the fullest. I guess I'm different. I just don't know how I feel about this. Me & my mother-in-law have never been close (and we are coming up on our 6th anniversary) so it's a weird feeling.

Of course, I would be upset if she passed away but mostly for Jamie. Also for the fact that she has never seen or hugged Presley. I don't know.

I need to clean. It's almost 1am. I need to be in bed by 1:30.

Number 2?

It's not that I don't want another baby. I love being a mom & I love Presley more than anything. I just always thought that for the second one I would be stateside. Ya know, closer to my loved ones. Ya know, closer to people I trust baby-sitting Presley so that Jamie & I can spend some time alone. Did I mention that we haven't spent ANY time alone since Presley was born? I mean, a couple hours during a nap doesn't count. Jamie still being awake when Presley's in bed for the night doesn't count as quality time either. Another baby thrown into the mix isn't going to help mommy/daddy time. I loved being pregnant & yes, I do feel a little selfish when I think that having another kid might be an easier way of losing weight. (If I do everything better the next time around & be 150% committed to BF & not just pumping.)


I wanted to go back to school when we moved back to the states. I wanted to buy a house (Esp if we moved to Cali) & I wanted to be the super cute dental assistant who only worked because she wanted to spend all of her money on her daughter. Ugh. I wanted my darn Prius (or go the opposite way & buy a new 2009 Durango.) Needless to say, I'm so selfish. I know that Jamie wants his son so badly. I have to say, I would love to be able to have my little boy! I just don't know. If we were to get pregnant, I would be so happy! But a little sad at the same time. NONE of my family has seen Presley in person. They've never held her or kissed her. It makes me so sad. I know that my family will hate me with a passion. It's not like I'm planning to have another kid. (Well, I think Jamie might be.)

I guess I just needed to vent a little. Jamie thinks I'm currently pregnant. *sigh* I wish he wouldn't say that. He's making me want to be pregnant... which means if I'm not, I'll be sad. I went through this way too much when ttc all those years. Who knew years of negative pregnancy tests would take such a toll of your emotions? Right? Heh. I should just be happy that my husband WANTS another baby! Some guys are fine with one little one & wouldn't dare go near number two! I guess Jamie loves being a dad so much that he wants another little baby. :) Plus, I want P to have a little brother/sister.

After all, God would never give us more than we can handle. Right?

xoxo

Not a people person...

So, last Friday I went to another Scentsy party. Presley has met most of these people before but hasn't seen any of them in quite some time. I thought she would be okay & she was for the most part. Until I put her on the floor to walk around. Another woman there has a 18 month old little girl (only 8 months older than P) and she is the sweetest little girl in the world! She walked up to P & tried to give her a big hug. I thought it was super sweet but P didn't like it. She started to cry & pushed the poor girl away. I felt so bad. After the little girl walked away P started to feel better. She continued to walk around with her little carrot stick & was happy as a clam. Well, my phone started to ring so I got up to get to my diaper bag. Another woman, scooped Presley up (because she was trying to pull on the table cloth... Scentsy crap would have fallen everywhere.) & apparently scared the living crap out of my baby! She started crying so hard that her face was beet red. Poor thing.

Needless to say, I'm a little upset. I never wanted Presley to be so shy. I'm constantly feeling like a "bad" mom because I don't ever hang around other people. I mean, it wasn't her fault that those people scared her. When we first had her, Jamie was in a bowling league. She was always around people & always the center of attention. Norma (our "Filipino" grandma) was always holding her & carrying her around. She was never shy & never cried. Then, Jamie quit the league & we stopped being around people all the time. Every once in awhile a couple people would come over or we would go hang out with them... but it stopped. Apparently, I come off as being rude because I don't call & chit chat every single day. (I am perfectly content without being around other people 24/7) But for Presley, I need to be around someone other than Jamie. I'm thinking of getting a swimsuit from ON or Torrid. I already ordered Peep one from Old Navy.
I'm a sucker for anything nautical. Haha. The swimsuits here in Guam are um, for the petite & I am anything but petite. So, I have fallen in love with this super cute swimsuit.
I'm not really into wearing a swimsuit solo. I need a coverup. I'm much too self conscious. I have my eye on these two coverups. They are so cute & I could always walk to the pool with just the coverup on. Especially the teal one.

I just hate ordering anything from Old Navy. For some reason, it takes a month to get to me!! Which is crazy because everyone else I talk to CLAIM that they get theirs in a week... maybe two!

Ugh. Oh well.

I'm back to thinking that San Diego is such a super awesome place. I mean, it seems to fit us more so than anywhere else. We are a tattoo crazed family & I don't think that is ever going to change. The hubby designed me an amazing chest piece years back that I would love to finally get. I just Googled San Diego tattoo shops & 12 popped instantly. I would love to have my own "personal" tattoo artist. Who knows what I love & who knows how to tattoo me juuust right. Some people have such heavy wrists (JAMIE) that it actually hurts more than it should. *sigh* I'm still determined to get my Sanrio half sleeve. I plan on becoming a dental assistant or hygienist once we're in San Diego, so the half sleeve is easily covered. PLUS if we DO move to San Diego, we want to STAY in San Diego as long as we can. Jamie can do both shore/sea duty in San Diego. So I've decided to go ahead & get my schooling started as soon as we get to SD. I checked to see how much (on average) a dental assistant makes & it isn't that bad. I mean, I don't really want to work a REAL full time job. I am a mother first & foremost but SD is pricey. We'll get almost $2100 from the Navy if we live off base. So I figured we could afford to buy a house. Especially if I worked. I mean, if we really love it in SD, we might as well buy a house! I want a house that looks like a typical Cali home. Haha. It's just hard to imagine paying $200+ for a house that is basically the same as our home in Kingsland that we paid... um, $119 for. Haha. I am currently in love with these two SD homes.
Too bad we aren't moving sometime soon... 1 1/2 years left! WOO! We call in October for our orders... I hope SD has something for us.

My mother-in-law.

We recently found out that my mother-in-law is having some health problems & has been keeping it to herself. We're not entirely sure exactly what is going on with her. We just know that she can't stand for very long without her legs swelling really bad.

In my family, we never keep health problems from each other. Even the smallest problem (such as a fever) is passed along to everyone. My family believes in the power of pray. Since everything we do comes down to prayer, I just wanted to ask a small favor to the random bloggers out there.

Please, keep my mother-in-law in your thoughts & prayers. I know that we may not get along perfectly but she's still my mother-in-law. Without her I wouldn't have the amazing little family that I do have.


♥He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound]. Isaiah 40: 29

10 months!

Goodness! I can't believe that my little P is already 10 months old! I still look at her in awe. Sometimes it feels like a really awesome dream. She's been walking for about a month now! Honestly, I didn't think that she would walk until after she was a year old but she had other plans. She RARELY crawls now, which I love. Our entire house is tile & her poor legs were red from crawling. Not to mention she had changed the way she crawls because of the hard, cold tile floors. She's learning so much! The list just keeps on growing! Here's a list of everything that she can do.

-Says Mama
-Says Dada
-Says Hi/Hey
-Walk
-Wave hi
-Blow kisses
-Give kisses
-Lay her head down & say, "ni ni"
-She touches her nose when asked to
-Smiles when asked
-Points
-Says, "num num" for food
-She "talks" on the phone (she'll actually put her hand to her ear when she hears a phone ring on tv)

I'm sure there is more but it's late & I can't think of anything else.


Moving on.

We've also been talking about where to move after Guam. (ANYWHERE!!) Jamie REALLY wants to move to San Diego. I'm not too sure because I still want to be as close to family as possible... California is on the opposite side of the country!! San Diego has SO much more to offer!! Right now I can think of at least five things to do!

1.WHALE WATCHING
2. LEGO LAND
3. SAN DIEGO ZOO
4. SEA WORLD
5. DISNEY

I mean, it IS California! Everyone wants to live in Cali at some point in their life. I don't know though... I want to be near my loved ones but Jamie keeps saying what a wonderful opportunity this is for us. I trust him. I told him if we move t Cali that I get my dream car... which has changed since last time. I currently long for a Cadillac CTS OR a Toyota Prius. Haha.

Last days in Guam.

Here recently, I have decided to "document" our last days here in Guam. If we are lucky, we will leave three months early in March 2010. If not, we leave June 2010. I wanted to get a full year of Guam. I've started a photo blog through my Mac. Everywhere we go & everything we do. It shouldn't be that much because we don't anywhere. Well, we do but we don't. Haha.

I started with the Jamaican Grill in Tumon. If I would have thought about it, I would have taken pictures of the sign, our food & drinks. They don't serve soda so everything is some sort of Jamaican drink. So yummy. I am currently obsessed with their mango tea.



Jamie found this sign amusing. Haha. It's for a "massage parlor". Riiight. Because real massage parlors stay open 24/7.








This is their other location in the Chamorro Village. We usually get our food from here.

Holy Crap!

I can't believe that Presley is almost 10 months old! It still feels like we just brought her home. She's getting so big & more beautiful with each day. She's taking her first steps now & starting to mimic everything that we do. It never gets old. She's constantly making me laugh & when I start to laugh, she starts to laugh... which makes me laugh even more. I can't believe we've been blessed with such a wonderful little girl!

Presley's birthday is less than 3 months away. I'm not entirely sure what we are going to do. We were going to try to go home for her 1st birthday since Emma's birthday is just two days earlier. We were going to have a doubt Hello Kitty birthday bash! Haha. That is an unrealistic goal now. I am the only one who has a passport & it isn't valid unless we are moving on military orders. Not to mention, we blew our tax return on stuff we needed/wanted around the house. So, I'm trying to find these in Guam to do. We don't have a lot of friends so it will probably be just the three of us. Jamie thinks that we don't need to invite a bunch of people who don't like just so she can have people at her birthday party.

One thing I have decided on is going to Underwater World! We have been wanting to go since we moved to Guam but haven't seemed to make time for it! What better time than Peeps 1st birthday!? She's starting to pay more attention to the birds, geckos & trees. Before they weren't that interesting unless they were moving. But Underwater World seems wonderful! Plus, we are going to Sam Choy's for lunch. Well, or Fridays. She greatly enjoys the atmosphere at Fridays. I know that she'll love Underwater World.

Also, I plan to talk Jamie into buying me some sea turtle jewelry from Artistica. They sell it in the gift shop... I am so looking forward to going. Sea turtles are my most favorite sea animal.

I hope to make Peeps' 1st birthday amazing! Even if she won't be with anyone but us. After all, who loves her more than her parents?


Aside from planning her first birthday, we haven't really done much. Like I said earlier, we blew our money on stuff we needed/wanted around the house. Like, a CAL king sized bed... haha. Presley does sleep with us and we needed more room. Presley has more teeth coming in. She currently has her bottom central incisors in completely & her top central incisors in cutting through. On top of that, she has her lateral incisors coming in. Poor thing. She's been really good except at night. She gets really clingy & won't stop crying for anything. I hate seeing her in pain.

We also found someone to buy the Element. I love my car but it sucks for families. Presley's carseat did not fit properly in the backseat. It would slide all the way into the sit making Presley lean really far back. It was crazy. Jamie would have to reinstall the carseat every time we got back in the car. So, we bought a new one. It seems to be working A LOT better. It fits PERFECTLY in the car like it should. I'm just ready to have a four door car again. The way the Element is, there aren't back doors. Well, REAL backdoors. In order to get her out of the carseat without hitting her head on the ceiling, we have to CLIMB in the backseat. This is also the same with getting her IN the seat. Needless to say, one of us ALWAYS sits in the backseat with her. It makes things easier when you don't have to climb in and out. So Jamie's getting his Cadillac. It's a 2000 Cadillac DeVille to be precise. The Element was mine and now he gets his car of choice. I don't care because we are going to have a four door car! HOORAY! Sadly, the people who are buying the Element also have a baby the EXACT same age as Presley. She was born a week AFTER Pres. I know that the wife has her own car so maybe they won't be putting their daughter into the Element. But Jamie did say that they already have their daughter front facing. Um, hello? Isn't the rule 20 pounds AND one year? I know their daughter is already 20 pounds because Peeps is also & they appear to be the same size!! Haha. I told Jamie that I would rather Pres be safe & rear facing than have it easier on me & turn her to front facing. That baby means the world to me & I'm not going to let anything happen to her.

New favorite pictures:

Happy New Year!

Last night was uneventful. Which is how I like it. I'm not much of a party person. I don't enjoy getting drunk & puking my guts out. I'm a homebody & I spent my New Year's with my family at home. However, I did get TWO New Year's kisses! One from my husband & one from my daughter. Aah. 2009 is going to be awesome.

2008 was full of so many wonderful memories but I'm ready to leave them behind... gone but not forgotten. I'm ready to make changes for the better & have a completely wonderful new year.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. -Anatole France

I have so many simple but life changing New Year resolutions. The hardest one is going to be my patience with this Godforsaken island. I hate complaining so I'm going to try to tone it down & make the best of the time we have left here in Guam. [As of right now, we are supposed to leave June 2010. Although, that could possibly be shortened to March. Which would make me so very very happy. We could be stateside for Presley's 2nd birthday!]

I also plan to be a better wife & mother. I'm not saying that I am not a good wife or mother. I just want to be better. I don't feel that I am patient enough. Sometimes I feel stressed & that makes me think that I am not living up to my super mommy hopes/dreams. And here lately, I've been such a witch towards Jamie. It has nothing to do with him. I get upset over the smallest Guam related things. Like, not being able to get real food at the Commissary when it's the only grocery store that we trust. I just want him to know that I love him & that I am happy that he's a part of my life & the father of my child. When I'm witchy, I don't think he knows that. He works all day long without complaining so that he can have time off. All I see is the working all day part. Also, since Presley was born, I've gained weight. He says that it doesn't bother him but it bothers me. I'm self conscious around him & when he tries to love on me, I freak out. I always think that he's judging me. So, I also want to lose weight. It's so hard to eat healthy out here. There is a limited amount of fresh fruits & veggies. Most people buy frozen food. But I'm going to try. I want to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight before we move back to the states. I currently have about 18 months. I think I can do it.

My faith has also been slacking. Sometimes I feel that I don't have anytime for God. I pray to Him every night & thank Him constantly for all that He has blessed me with. But I feel like that isn't good enough. We had so much trouble trying to conceive. My doctor's thought that I had PCOS. [Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome] I didn't ovulate at all. I was put on fertility medication roughly four times & ovulated twice. February 2007 I got pregnant only to miscarry at 6 weeks. Which I'm told is quite common but that still doesn't lessen the pain. After that Jamie & I decided to stop trying & I told God that I wasn't going to use medicine to get pregnant. I put everything in His hands & when He felt that we were ready to have a baby, He would help us get pregnant. I got pregnant August 2007 after only being on the island for two weeks. I feel that God thought it was the right time because Jamie wasn't going out to sea for about 3 years & I needed the hole in my heart filled. Being so far away from my family really hurt me. So God blessed us with our own family. And for that reason alone, I feel that I should be a better Christian. I love God & thank Him for my life. He deserves to be loved properly.


My favorite pictures of 2008